Ingrid Bengis pioneered essays on love, hate and sexuality. She was only twenty eight when the book “Combat in the Erogenous Zone” got published in 1972. One of the best definitions of unanswerable questions I have seen has been described by her.
The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not, the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you "come to terms with" only to discover that they are still there. The real questions refuse to be placated. They barge into your life at the times when it seems most important for them to stay away. They are the questions asked most frequently and answered most inadequately, the ones that reveal their true natures slowly, reluctantly, most often against your will.
Ingrid Bengis, Combat in the Erogenous Zone, "Man-Hating" (1973).
When questioning yourself gets hard, you usually turn to others. It is very easy when questioning to let your own values, preferences and biases to leak into what you are asking. Other’s perception of your values might not be the same and they usually don’t put deep thought into answering them. Be very aware of this.
The other side of the spectrum is to come to a conclusion – that if there are no answers from others, then you don’t have to ask them yourself.
There is no shortcut to answer these questions. Continue your search for the answers to the point that it motivates you toward something beneficial . You have to practice momentarily letting go, once a question has outlived its immediate utility.











